Fragments.ws is devoted to adult-themed, SCI-FI and Speculative Fiction. In most of these stories, men are turned into statues, animals, mythological creatures, and other transformations.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Tin Can (WT 18)
TIN CAN The tale of two brothers with a drunken father. One can run away while the other waits as a tin man.
Tin Can – started July 30, 2006 Two brothers devise a way to escape a drunken father. The younger one does it with tin cans and the older one runs away to make his fortune in life. Ten years later, they are reunited. This is the story of their reunion and their travails in trying to restore the younger brother to human form.
The story ending: Garrett gifts the town council a new public sculpture with a hundred year time capsule. He places Cody, his dog and Tyler in the garden and then transforms himself into a tin man. They remain in the town square for many years.
“Explain all this to me,” Tyler said, parking the SUV. Garrett hadn’t spoken since they left Vegas. “I used to live back there a little ways, in that trailer park yonder. I stored my little brother and the rest of my inheritance here when I left my bastard of a Dad,” Garrett answered. Tyler looked at him sideways. “I never knew you had a younger brother,” Tyler said. He put the SUV in park and kept the motor running. It was 110 degrees in Escalante, Utah. He could feel the sweat form on his body as they stepped out of the SUV. “You never asked. I never offered,” said Garrett, slipping into his I-ain’t-sayin’-nothin’ attitude, pushing an old key into the lock and shaking it away from the hasp. He stopped and looked at Tyler. “I’m sorry, Ty. I’ve been rotten to you today and you don’t deserve that. This storage unit is my past. I owe you a little more than the proverbial hot tongue and cold shoulder.” Garrett said, putting a hand on Tyler’s shoulder to reassure him. Instead, Tyler pushed him away and shoved his sunglasses up onto the top of his forehead. “You owe me the truth, I’ve known you six years and yet today, I find out that I barely know anything about your past,” Tyler folded his arms over his chest. Garrett smiled and pulled the roller door open. “You’re right. This is my secret. Now it will be our secret. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t want to tell it all to you. I hope you’ll still love me after all is said and done,” Tyler said. He watched and waited for Tyler’s reaction. “God you are so good with those platitudes,” Tyler said, remaining cynical. “Well, no more platitudes. From now on I’m only going to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but,” Garrett said. He realized too late, how awful that admission sounded. Tyler didn’t say a word. He didn’t even roll his eyes. “I’m sorry, that one slipped out. I sometimes run my mouth before,” Garrett stopped and opened the door to the storage unit. He turned to Tyler and looked straight into his eyes. “I know that I lied about my past. I lied to everyone. I lied to the world to protect my little brother. My family didn’t die in a car crash. When I ran away from home, I left my kid brother here,” confessed Garrett. Tyler stood stunned by the revelation. “You ran away and left your little brother here? You left your little brother living in a slum trailer park, a drunken father and a storage unit?” Tyler said. Garrett pushed some large boards to reveal tin sculptures and boxes filled with metal parts in the back of the unit. “Yeah, I had to. We thought Dad would die on one of his drunken binges after we left. But, the bastard took ten years to die of liver failure. His ashes are waiting over at Frederick’s Funeral Home. They say he burnt extra hot from the residual alcohol. He was definitely ready for Freddie when he died,” Garrett said, skipping a step and pretending to dance at the news. Tyler didn’t laugh. “Can’t you be fucking serious for one minute? You’re acting silly,” Tyler growled. He turned away and studied the metal sculptures. “No I’m not. The man was a rotten bastard. I have half a mind to flush his ashes into the nearest pig sty,” Garrett sneered at the thought. “Garrett!” Tyler yelled, his eyeballs rolled up and he beat one fist into his palm. “Ok, Ok, I’ll behave. I shouldn’t be happy about the death of my Dad but he deserves it. I promised kid brother that I’d get him when Dad died. He’s the one who made all the tin men and all this sculptural stuff you see. I never believed it was any good until one summer after a particularly bad drinking binge. One night he dressed in the tin parts and hid from my Dad. The man was a mean drunk and a stupid drunk. The tin suit scared him and I took the beating. The next day, Cody built a suit of tin armor for me and it save me many a night from getting my ribs shattered or my spleen busted into jelly,” Garrett explained. He moved a box of tin parts into the back of the SUV. Tyler carried a couple boxes filled with tin creatures out of the unit, shaking his head in disgust. “You ran away and left a twelve year old to live with a drunk. That’s cold dude, cold,” Tyler said.
Comment #8 Who said it's finished? Not me - - - {wink}
I sent the opening to The Evil Editor (look at the links on the right of the blog) and I'm waiting until he posts and the minions comment.
Also asked my Brother for an opinion. He made changes that I've still got to think about and incorporate. (track changes in word is so nice that way)... But my Brother is homophobic (childishly so) and made them business partners.
So the story will change some. Basic plot will be the same.
8 comments:
Tin Can – started July 30, 2006
Two brothers devise a way to escape a drunken father. The younger one does it with tin cans and the older one runs away to make his fortune in life. Ten years later, they are reunited. This is the story of their reunion and their travails in trying to restore the younger brother to human form.
oooh, I figure out the ending, I figured out the ending...
The story ending:
Garrett gifts the town council a new public sculpture with a hundred year time capsule. He places Cody, his dog and Tyler in the garden and then transforms himself into a tin man. They remain in the town square for many years.
Almost done. A few hundred words to finish the story.
“Explain all this to me,” Tyler said, parking the SUV. Garrett hadn’t spoken since they left Vegas.
“I used to live back there a little ways, in that trailer park yonder. I stored my little brother and the rest of my inheritance here when I left my bastard of a Dad,” Garrett answered. Tyler looked at him sideways.
“I never knew you had a younger brother,” Tyler said. He put the SUV in park and kept the motor running. It was 110 degrees in Escalante, Utah. He could feel the sweat form on his body as they stepped out of the SUV.
“You never asked. I never offered,” said Garrett, slipping into his I-ain’t-sayin’-nothin’ attitude, pushing an old key into the lock and shaking it away from the hasp. He stopped and looked at Tyler.
“I’m sorry, Ty. I’ve been rotten to you today and you don’t deserve that. This storage unit is my past. I owe you a little more than the proverbial hot tongue and cold shoulder.” Garrett said, putting a hand on Tyler’s shoulder to reassure him. Instead, Tyler pushed him away and shoved his sunglasses up onto the top of his forehead.
“You owe me the truth, I’ve known you six years and yet today, I find out that I barely know anything about your past,” Tyler folded his arms over his chest. Garrett smiled and pulled the roller door open.
“You’re right. This is my secret. Now it will be our secret. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t want to tell it all to you. I hope you’ll still love me after all is said and done,” Tyler said. He watched and waited for Tyler’s reaction.
“God you are so good with those platitudes,” Tyler said, remaining cynical.
“Well, no more platitudes. From now on I’m only going to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but,” Garrett said. He realized too late, how awful that admission sounded. Tyler didn’t say a word. He didn’t even roll his eyes.
“I’m sorry, that one slipped out. I sometimes run my mouth before,” Garrett stopped and opened the door to the storage unit. He turned to Tyler and looked straight into his eyes. “I know that I lied about my past. I lied to everyone. I lied to the world to protect my little brother. My family didn’t die in a car crash. When I ran away from home, I left my kid brother here,” confessed Garrett. Tyler stood stunned by the revelation.
“You ran away and left your little brother here? You left your little brother living in a slum trailer park, a drunken father and a storage unit?” Tyler said. Garrett pushed some large boards to reveal tin sculptures and boxes filled with metal parts in the back of the unit.
“Yeah, I had to. We thought Dad would die on one of his drunken binges after we left. But, the bastard took ten years to die of liver failure. His ashes are waiting over at Frederick’s Funeral Home. They say he burnt extra hot from the residual alcohol. He was definitely ready for Freddie when he died,” Garrett said, skipping a step and pretending to dance at the news. Tyler didn’t laugh.
“Can’t you be fucking serious for one minute? You’re acting silly,” Tyler growled. He turned away and studied the metal sculptures.
“No I’m not. The man was a rotten bastard. I have half a mind to flush his ashes into the nearest pig sty,” Garrett sneered at the thought.
“Garrett!” Tyler yelled, his eyeballs rolled up and he beat one fist into his palm.
“Ok, Ok, I’ll behave. I shouldn’t be happy about the death of my Dad but he deserves it. I promised kid brother that I’d get him when Dad died. He’s the one who made all the tin men and all this sculptural stuff you see. I never believed it was any good until one summer after a particularly bad drinking binge. One night he dressed in the tin parts and hid from my Dad. The man was a mean drunk and a stupid drunk. The tin suit scared him and I took the beating. The next day, Cody built a suit of tin armor for me and it save me many a night from getting my ribs shattered or my spleen busted into jelly,” Garrett explained. He moved a box of tin parts into the back of the SUV. Tyler carried a couple boxes filled with tin creatures out of the unit, shaking his head in disgust.
“You ran away and left a twelve year old to live with a drunk. That’s cold dude, cold,” Tyler said.
hmm just got into it.. then it finished :o(
Trys to sit patiently for it to be finished......
I finally wrote the end, the real ending, revised many times over.
19 Dec 06
Comment #8
Who said it's finished? Not me - - - {wink}
I sent the opening to The Evil Editor (look at the links on the right of the blog) and I'm waiting until he posts and the minions comment.
Also asked my Brother for an opinion. He made changes that I've still got to think about and incorporate. (track changes in word is so nice that way)... But my Brother is homophobic (childishly so) and made them business partners.
So the story will change some. Basic plot will be the same.
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