Monday, March 12, 2007

DUTY AND HONOR IN TERRA COTTA (WT 8)

I posted this on my website for March, 2007.
Since then, I received a set of comments from an editor. I will no doubt revise the story to fix its current shortcomings.


DUTY AND HONOR IN TERRA COTTA

15 comments:

Dave said...

A friend asked me what I thought would happen if someone tried to "wear" one of the hollow statues from the Terra Cotta Army of Emperor Qin Shi Huang. They are in Xian China.


It took lots of research to find locations and names of the characters. The city of Huoshaoshai and Longman’s Cave, along with the Museum in Xian are real. THe Chinese names are reasonably authentic. I don't know chinese and I can't say if anyone really has those names.

Dave said...

Terra Cotta Statues – started July 4, 2006
A friend asked me what I thought would happen if someone tried to "wear" one of the hollow statues from the Terra Cotta Army of Emperor Qin Shi Huang. They are in Xian China.
It took lots of research to find locations and names of the characters. The city of Huoshaoshai and Longman’s Cave, along with the Museum in Xian are real. The Chinese names are reasonably authentic. I don't know Chinese language and I can't say if anyone really has those names.

I think lots about my characters. I try to think of reasons why they would do what I write. Sometimes, a character doesn’t do what you think he should do but instead does something else. This is one of those stories. The main character never leaves China, not because he is a terra cotta statue, but because he’s returned to human form -- just how and why is the story. They discover another tomb of terra cotta warriors. In it, there is evidence that living men entered a pool of terra cotta and turned themselves into statues. Well that puts the story into motion.
As for the ending, well, not everyone wishes to participate in treachery. When confronted with a totally selfless sacrifice, how would you react? What actions would you take?

Dave said...

I received this today, 9/18/2006:

STATUS UPDATE
This is to let you know that your submission has made it to the final stages of voting with our submissions board. We hope to have a decision by week's end.
Thanks for being patient. However the decision comes out, we are certainly enjoying deliberating over your work. Again, we should have an answer quite soon.

Dave said...

Aw, poo poo - it got rejected.

Anonymous said...

When are you going to post this fiction on your websites?

Dave said...

I got feedback from an Editor. It goes as follows:

We thought the technical ability was evident, but the consensus was: it didn't work for us as erotica. It didn't maintain the mood or atmosphere it seemed to attempt to create. Parts of it seemed artificial or ad hoc - the patri-erotica. One comment was that it didn't seem comfortable with its own homoeroticism. One particular line, for example, seems to typify these perspectives: "More and more steam poured from the dragon sculpture’s mouth until it reached a constant blast. Ben gasped at the sight. That’s sexy and exciting, he thought."
Sorry, there is not more detail on this. It's not from lack of attention. It's just that these weren't so much structural issues as issues with the effectiveness of it's erotica, so to speak.

- - end of comment - -

I think I know what he is talking about. So this gets a rewrite with that commentary in mind. After that, I will send it to another magazine. Time will tell.

Bernita said...

Excellent feed-back!
And with something that's not that hard to fix.
Good luck with this, Dave.

Mike Bladeless said...

hmmmm and i did get get a view of it.......

Dave said...

Yup, It's out for BETA reading and testing.

Anonymous said...

So where is this BETA reading ?

Dave said...

BETA reading is when I give a printed version of the story to friends to read and comment upon, or when I send it into an editing service for copyedit and comment.

Dave said...

I sent the revised version of this to an e-zine today. I should know if they accept it in four to six weeks.

Anonymous said...

How's the story ? Any publication on this one ?

Dave said...

No word yet.
I honestly didn't expect any word about publications from the beginning of December through the end of the year. I've been through that in my business life.
Hopefully, I will hear this month.

Dave said...

Of all the strange occurences, a rejection showed up today. IT was only 5 months old but the editor was good enough to include some comments.
It's like good news, bad news.
The bad news is "rejection" but the good news is "here's why so you can fix it".