Monday, July 31, 2006

Rainforest (WT 4)

RAINFOREST - posted in September 2006
Explorers are "adopted" by the insects on a strange jungle. This involves ants, dragonflies and slugs (or snails).


Posted on Website in the Furry Folder:
FIRST CONTACT: PHASE TWO

6 comments:

Dave said...

Rainforest – started July 23, 2006
A short romp through the jungle for three soldiers changes their lives forever. I hate to admit this, but this is my silly, sexy fun story because I want to write about slugs having sex. SO one soldier becomes a slug, another becomes an ant, and a third a dragonfly. Since two of the three soldiers are insubordinately, obnoxiously vulgar and insulting, I get to write snide remarks about the third. Some days it takes so little to amuse me. {Wink}{Wink}
I had to learn about snail and slug sex (it’s so juicy, they’re hermaphroditic and slugs hang upside-down on slime ropes as they do it. Makes my little heart go pitter-pat. {Wink}{Wink}

Dave said...

Yesterday and today were good for ths story. I figured out where it was going and what the characters were going to do.

One of the characters wants to conquer the universe. Don;t take that wrong, it's not like a mad scientist take over, more like a friendly takeover.

Dave said...

The First 270 words:

“This planet is nothing but a jungle, a sweaty, smelly jungle,” Sergeant Major Siddhartha Tarun swatted at a swarm of orange and brown colored bugs with red markings flying around his head.

“Don’t forget crawling with shit-eating bugs, ass-kissing vermin and those indigenous fungus infections that turn your nuts red and cause your inflamed dick to drool green pus, Sir,” Corporal Dodger said.

“Are you mocking me, soldier?” Sergeant Major Tarun blustered.

“No Sir, it’s just that there’s a huge fucking bug with eighteen legs, nine sets of genitals and the ugliest heads I’ve ever seen creeping up your boot, Sir. I think it loves you Sir,” Dodger answered. Rule number one of the space corps was do not let alien bugs sting you. They might lay eggs in your body that grow and eat their way out of you, give you a fatal disease, or worse yet, turn you into a native, an alien native. This transformation happened on most alien worlds where odd life existed. Something about the flexibility of Human DNA made them susceptible to going native, as it was called. Phase 1 volunteers had to patrol worlds for a year before they were declared safe. Most soldiers accepted the risks but still, no one wanted to be the first to have their dicks shrink or their balls shrivel, or their bodies changed into something alien. Tarun swatted the bug with a gloved hand.

“Aw remonstrations and epithets, what piddling rotten luck, the blighter stained my new boots,” Tarun grumbled. The bug left an iridescent orange stain on his mud-encrusted boot.

Dave said...

I changed that opening. I thought there was too much exposition and backstory. I'm a relentless and ruthless reviewer. It's now 212 words

“This planet is nothing but a jungle, a sweaty, smelly jungle,” Sergeant Major Siddhartha Tarun swatted at a swarm of orange and yellow colored bugs with red markings flying around his head.

“Don’t forget crawling with shit-eating bugs, ass-kissing vermin and those indigenous fungus infections that turn your nuts red and cause your inflamed dick to drool green pus, Sir,” Corporal Dodger said.

“Are you mocking me, soldier?” Sergeant Major Tarun blustered.

“No Sir, it’s just that there’s a huge fucking bug with eighteen legs, nine sets of genitals and the ugliest heads I’ve ever seen creeping up your boot, Sir. I think it loves you Sir,” Dodger answered. Rule number one of the space corps was don’t get stung. A bug might lay eggs in your body that grow and eat you, give you a fatal disease, or turn you into an alien. Human DNA is infinitely flexible. Phase 1 volunteers accepted the risks but still, no one wanted to be the first contaminated. Tarun swatted the bug with a gloved hand.

“Aw remonstrations and epithets, what piddling rotten luck, the blighter stained my new boots,” Tarun grumbled. The bug left an iridescent orange stain on his mud-encrusted boot.

“Better than staining your ass crack, Sir,” Private Ricky Oliverio blurted out.

Dave said...

Here's another bit of the draft that you might enjoy:

Dodger pointed to a small speck in the sky. “Ask me about the carbon conversion units onboard a spaceship sometime.” The speck grew larger and circled the encampment. It was a two-man platform with no shielding or cabin. Normally they transported freight on something like this. The two men were nearly blue with cold and almost frozen to the steel decking. Frost covered their hair. Ricky recognized them. They both wore simple oxygen masks and nothing else.

“Have you any clue why those two men are naked? You’re human bodies aren’t that sturdy,” the head alien asked.

“I recognize those two. They were McNastypenny’s lovers before I left the ship. She publicly called them loin-fruit and banana-with-plums. We called them the Greek handmaidens because of their physiques. This is … not good,” Dodger watched as the platform nearly crashed into a tree. Both men clung to the platform barely able to stand. Ricky and the slugs rushed to help the two men. Even the heat of the jungle couldn’t restore their body temperature fast enough. Both men took comfort against the hot bodies of the slugs.

“That bitch must have ordered them to short us on the oxygen,” Ethan Arrington gasped for breath to re-oxygenate his body.

“We’re doomed, aren’t we. We’re never leaving the surface of this planet are we,” Logan McPheeney asked.

“You’re going to turn us into slugs, just like you, aren’t you?” Ethan slurred. A slug grabbed him from behind to keep him from falling over.

“Why in all creation are you two naked and short of oxygen? I thought you were favorites?” Ricky asked. A young slug grabbed Logan before he fell off the platform.

“We still are. She’s punishing us for broadcasting our last ménage a trois to the crew,” Ethan’s chest still heaved. He turned and faced the slug holding him up. Copious amounts of warm slime oozed over his body. He suddenly bent over and retched his guts onto the jungle floor.

“The crew loved it. We played shave the beaver, hide the salami and ass-bandits on horseback,” Logan slid down onto his knees and moaned. He puked onto the ground, too.

“She heard the crew mocking her and took revenge on us. She had us shot up with ipecac, thrown into hold naked with only the oxygen masks, and then depressurized it. We’re lucky we made it to ground without throwing up,” Logan retched again.

end

Dave said...

I think this will be September's story. It's such a silly bit of trashy writing. It broke a bad writers block.